My husband is speaking with a woman on the internet for marriage – Advice from Shaykh Uthman As Saalimi Al Yemeni
Noble Shaykh my husband wants to take a second wife. And it has been revealed to me that he became acquainted with a non-related woman by way of the internet. Then he started speaking with her by video chat in addition to text messages by phone. Then they began to exchange flirts, rather he began requesting indecent things from her. Likewise he began to send her money. All of this occurred in a period of only one week. So is this permissible to do while she remains an unrelated woman to him? How is he doing this while he is a religious man? Can the one who wants to marry go about it in this manner? What should I do in this situation; may Allah bless you?
Shaykh Uthman As Saalimi Al Yemeni:
May Allah guide him. This person’s righteousness and integrity is weak, and his religion is weak. It is obligatory upon him to repent and seek forgiveness. And it is not permissible for him to place a picture of himself on the internet, or anything like this.
Also, in addition to this; whoever wishes to marry a woman needs to speak with her family and ask about her. As for utilizing the internet, this is the fitna that occurs from it. It is obligatory upon him to repent and seek forgiveness. And if he wants marriage, he must go to her family and address them, or ask questions about her, such as, ‘how is her deen’. As for him getting to know her by way of the internet and pictures, then I do not advise this; rather it is obligatory to abandon this.
And if the woman is able to advise her husband she should do so. And also she should beautify and prettify herself for her husband such that he will forget this Fitna. And with Allah aid is sought. Or she should have someone command him with good, and leaving off these flirts.
May Allah give us all success to that which He loves and is pleased with.
Translated by Rasheed ibn Estes Barbee
Watch Video @ http://wp.me/p2sNCV-3pP
Advice to those who are Tried with Watching Porn
Shaykh ‘Abdur-Razzaaq ibn ‘Abdul-Muhsin Al-Badr
May Allaah reward you and may Allaah bless you. May Allaah benefit us with that which we have heard; and may Allaah forgive us, you, and all the Muslims. This questioner, O Shaykh, says: I implore you, by Allaah, to ask this question (for me). He says in his question: O, Shaykh, give me advice, for by Allaah, I am upon the brink of the Hellfire. For I have been addicted, O Shaykh, to pornography websites since last year. Every time I repent I return to it again. By Allaah, the thing which I hate the most is these sites, but they overpower me every time and they are the reason for my failure. I used to be very successful in my work and in my studies, however, now I am in a state of loss.
Firstly, I say, just as ‘Umar ibn Al-Khattaab, may Allaah be pleased with him, has said: “Supplicate to Allaah the Blessed and High that He turns the heart of your brother; that He guides him and accepts his repentance.” So we ask Allaah the Mighty and Majestic, the Generous, Lord of the Great Throne, that He guide him and accept his repentance; and that He makes us and him firm with the firm statement and that He give us refuge from the evil of our souls and the evil of our actions.
I advise you, O noble brother, with one piece of advice; always be mindful of it, for in it is salvation for you. It is the greatest admonition. Always bear in mind that Allaah, the Lord of all that exists, sees you and that He, Glorified and Exalted be He, is looking at you. If you are alone within the house on any day, then do not say: I am alone; but say: There is a Raqeeb (Watcher i.e. Allaah) over me. When you sit, in this seclusion with this screen on the internet and you begin to enter those sites and you think that no one from the people can see you, then know that the Lord of all that exists is looking at you.
أَلَمْ يَعْلَمْ بِأَنَّ اللَّهَ يَرَى
Knows he not that Allaah does see (what he does)? (Al-’Alaq 96:14)
In this verse is a rebuke for you; treat yourself with it; rebuke yourself by way of the Qur’aan. There is not harm if you put this verse upon your room in front of you so that you can look at it and it can deter you and rebuke you from that matter, which there is not to be seen nor will you find therein any result that will benefit you. Rather, you have been affected in your studies, in your manners, in your worship, in your performance; there is no beneficial fruit in it. This is what the enemies of the religion desire; when they make the likes of these despicable, licentious, and harmful films; so that the children of the Muslims become lost; and the children of the Muslims become like cattle. Rather, they are even more astray; in the following of desires and urges, deviations and misguidances.
Due to this, have Taqwaa of Allaah the Mighty and Majestic, and make yourself constant in turning to Allaah the Glorified and High, and in sincere Tawbah to Allaah the Mighty and Majestic.
This device, I do not say to you to-if this is your state-to utilize it for permissible affairs; rather, I say: REVOVE IT FROM THE HOUSE COMPLETELY. Remove it from the house completely; and it should not remain with you even for a second. Tonight, remove it from your house; because its presence is an apparent corruption for you. It should not remain with you in hopes of benefitting from it in useful ways. Rather, remove it from your house completely and close off this door of evil from yourself and turn to Allaah the Glorified and High.
We ask Allaah to turn your heart and to accept your repentance, and to accept all of our repentance; and to guide us all to the (straight) path; and to rectify for us all of our affairs; indeed He, Blessed and Exalted be He, is the All-Hearing, Ever-Responsive, and Ever-Near.
Translated by: Raha ibn Donald Batts
Abdulilah Lahmami : Taken from my own notes from the fourth lesson of Sharh Akhlaaq al-Ulama by Imam Ajuree explained by Sheikh Dr. Saalih ibn Sa’d as-Suhaimi during the Madinah Conference, Saudi Arabia 1426/2006
Sheikh Dr. Saalih ibn Sa’d as-Suhaimi said regarding those who write on the internet and oppress others unjustly:
About twenty eight years ago two groups of students differed with one another. The extremity of the situation resulted in argumentation such that they did not seek the truth but rather only to please their own desires. They accused one another of falling into sins. The matter of disagreement was regarding whether one places his hands on the ground before his knees while going down for prostration in the prayer. They charged one another of lying against the Messenger sallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam. They claimed that these ones do no want the Sunnah. They fought each other until they threw chairs at one another.
This is from the deceptions of Iblees and whoever occupies himself with pleasing their desires then they ends up being misguided…
These affairs should be taken back to those firm in knowledge… let us consider Imam Ahmed and Imam Shaf’ee rahimahumaallaah. They differed with regard whether one has to make ablution after eating camel’s meat. Imam Shaf’ee says that if one is upon ablution then eats camel’s meat and prays then their prayer is correct, while Imam Ahmed says one’s prayer is nullified. However, both of these Imams pray behind each other without mentioning this difference…
Beware my brothers from some of the problems present on the internet. To the extent that one of these (troublemakers) tried to ascertain what his brother’s saying meant by given it a meaning other than the intended one, thereby being futile…
Another one has accused his brother of being an evil person and a Rafidi (an extreme group amongst the Shi’ah sect). The youths accusing others of being sinners, innovators and disbelievers. It maybe a result of a misunderstanding.
As the poet said,
And how many speak against a correct statement And his shortcoming is due to his own wrong understanding
By Allaah, we advised them concerning their argumentation and accusingly ascertaining a false meaning to what others say. This has lead others who are weak in faith to accept it.
May Allaah have mercy on Imam Ibn Baz rahimahullaah, when he advised the callers to Allaah in general, some people said that he was referring to the callers in Madinah specifically and to such and such person. Thus, falsely accusing others. So he rahimahullaah replied, “Those who delve in murky waters are the ones who say I am referring to such and such person…”
Allaah said, “Do not go into that which you have no knowledge, indeed the hearing, the sight, the heart, all of it, he will be questioned about.”
We should keep away from accusingly ascertaining a false meaning to what others say…
…I say this to the students of knowledge, Fear Allaah concerning yourself (raising his voice), Fear Allaah concerning your brothers, Fear Allaah with what you put in your tapes falsely accusing and ascertaining a corrupt meaning to what others say.
Fear Allaah concerning the internet websites that are used for falsely accusing and ascertaining a false meaning to what others say.
Very little shame and much distortion in what your brothers say concerning those things that are not meant. By Allaah you will be questioned, by Allaah on a Day when neither wealth nor children will benefit you except the one who came to Allaah with a pure heart. By Allaah you will be questioned.
Someone wrote in that website, the one whose owners don’t have fear of Allaah in reviling the students of knowledge with different types of insults and they even placed a student of knowledge and scholars to be a reference point for the website but I say this with much sorrow.
I heard this tape from the website of someone, may Allaah forgive him, he specified twenty minutes talking against me with very dangerous slanders and he attributed to me and others what is befitting for hypocrites and disbelievers. He said so and so he has such and such and he followed other than the path of the believers…he fell into hypocrisy and disbelief and he differed from the scholars and he went here and there, by Allaah, if you heard those characteristics then they are not attributed except to the disbelievers and hypocrites. I don’t say this to defend myself, but he was not only specifying me with these slanders, only, but also other students of knowledge and scholars…
I say to him two things: the first of them being that I will not use against him more than the arrows at night for I will not forget in the last third part of the night the supplication against him and those that aid him, Allaah willing.
Secondly, I say to him: say what you say because in front of Allaah the disputers will gather and those that oppressed others will know which place they will end up in.
I say this, my brothers, for the sake of Allaah such that a Muslim is aware that Allaah is watching him, thus being afraid of Allaah in that which he says and writes. That he is accountable concerning every statement he utters for indeed a man says something without realising where it will reach until he falls into the hellfire a distance of 70 years.
The Prophet sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam while holding his own tongue said to Mu’adh ibn Jabal (may Allaah be pleased with him), “withhold this!” So Mu’adh said, “will we be accountable concerning what we say?” The Prophet sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam said, “May you be put back in your mothers womb and born again, for the people will be thrown into the hellfire upon their faces or noses on account of what their tongues used to say.”
The great calamity is that this enmity is happening between people who ascribe to this methodology and this one way, except that satan has caused enmity between them. It maybe satan found those who delve into murky waters just as Ibn Baz rahimahullaah said.
If a person makes a mistake, do you take him out of salafiyyah and from the methodology of Ahlu Sunnah wal Jamaa’ah based upon your own specific opinion. Who is the one to clarify these affairs, they are the scholars who cultivate people to the truth, those who speak truthfully and are just upon it not Bakr or Zayd like us young ones.
So FEAR ALLAAH wherever you are (Raising his voice). So FEAR ALLAAH wherever you are. So FEAR ALLAAH wherever you are.
Fear Allaah concerning your brothers from Ahlu Sunnah, Be kind, loving and gentle with Ahlu Sunnah! Be kind, loving and gentle with Ahlu Sunnah! Be kind, loving and gentle with Ahlu Sunnah! Just as our sheikh AbdulMuhsin al ‘Abbad said. I advise myself and you with the fear of Allaah in secret and in open.
Allaah said, “And indeed We have created man, and We know what his own self whispers to him. And We are nearer to him than his jugular veins (by Our knowledge). (Remember) that the two receivers (recording angels) receive (each human being), one sitting on the right and one on the left (to note his or her actions). Not a word does he utter but there is a watcher by him ready (to record it).” [Soorah Qaf: 16-18]
I ask Allaah for myself and you that we gain beneficial knowledge and good, correct actions for He is the One able to decree it and we say the supplication which Jibraeel taught the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam to say:
“O Allaah, the Lord of Jibraeel, Mikaeel and Israfeel, the Originator of the heavens and the earth, Knower of the unseen and Bearer of witness. You are the One who judges between your servants in that which they differ, guide me with truth in those things that there is difference with your permission. Indeed you guide whom you will to the straight path.”
The hadeeth has is Hasan, see Sunan Abi Dawood (767), Sunan Ibn Maajah (1357), Sunan Tirmidhee (3420).
End of translation.
For those who don’t know Sheikh Dr. Saalih ibn Sa’d as-Suhaimi, then he is in his 70′s a teacher in the Prophet’s mosque and also at The Islamic University of Madinah and is held in high esteem amongst the scholars of Ahlu Sunnah and the general people. May Allaah protect him. The sheikh is also blind may Allaah grant him paradise for his efforts in calling to Allaah.
Hiding Behind (False) Names, Titles, Or Kunyahs That Hide The Identity Of A Person
Al-Muhaddith, the carrier of the banner of Jarh wa Ta’deel in our time, Ash-Shaykh Rabee, advised the Salafis in everyplace about a number of affairs that are extremely important to the Da’wah Salafiyyah, and those who ascribe to this most blessed manhaj. From the affairs that the Sheikh spoke about is the affair of evil of people posting on the internet, hiding under unknown screen names. He stated:
……by Allah no one hides his [real] name except a person of evil. Astaghfirullah! Astaghfirullah! Why are you hiding your [real] name?! If you have the truth with you then announce your name, if you have falsehood with you then fear Allah! Don’t speak! There is no reason to hide your [real] name, no reason whatsoever, this is something unknown with the Salaf…”
After looking into the benefits of posting with one’s real name, the following things come to mind at first glance:
1. One will take his time, contemplate, and think deeply before posting.
2. We will know the level of the writer’s knowledge and manhaj.
3. There will be no hastiness or unnecessary rush in spreading things before confirming them and referring them to the people of knowledge.
4. Writing under one’s real name will bring about a sense of responsibility and accountability for what is being written.
5. It will reduce excessive writing and spreading (of things devoid of benefit)
6. It will restrict the writing and the offering of advice to the people of knowledge and their students, and not just every Tom, Dick, and Harry will post.
7. It will put forth the people of knowledge and make clear their true position and their true right and authority with regards to guidance, education, and criticism.
8. It will allow the Salafee manhaj to be seen in its beautiful form and complete shape, by way of knowing the narrators and their situations and personalities.
9. We will be able to apply the Sharee’ah ruling on the opposing ones, those who stubbornly resist (the correct path), and the liars. We will be able to confirm and verify reports if we know the individuals, but this ability will vanish or dwindle so long as we do not know them, or they are anonymous.
10. There will be an increase in beneficial posts with knowledge, clarifying the manhaj, and weak posts or those devoid of benefit will decrease.
11. We will nobly remove ourselves from the ways of the biased partisans and people of secret movements and organizations, and we will oppose their stealth and hiding behind nicknames or kunyahs when their attributes and poisons become known.
12. We will spread clarity and mutual truthfulness, two attributes that are from the foremost attributes of the Salafee manhaj.
Written by: ‘Ubayd ibn ‘Abdillaah ibn Sulaymaan Al-Jaabiree
Former professor at the Islaamic University of Al-Madeenah 1423/7/21
Source: SalafiTalk.net (translation by Moosaa Richardson) and Sahab.net
Al-Muhaddith Muhammad Naasirud-Deen Al-Albaanee dicussed this issue of the of those who hide behind pseudonyms, and unknown kunyahs in at least two of his writings.
In the introduction to his book An-Naseehah (pg. 5) he refutes one called Hassaan Abdul-Mannaan, he states:
And it has become certain to me that he began to circulate his books, in the end, after his reality was uncovered, and his affair exposed, under the pen name Abu Suhaib Al-Karamee!! Going to extremes in trickery, and Talbees (deceit)! and drowning in misguidance and Tadlees (deception)!! Rather after that he circulated books with his introductions and checkings without any name or Kunyah!!
So in this quote of Al-Muhaddith Al-Albaanee he describes this act as trickery, deceit, misguidance, and deception. May Allah grant us safety from such attributes.
He also states in the introduction to Adaabuz-Zafaaf (pg. 8):
And in this introduction I do not want to turn once again to the refutation of his treatise, and the clarification of all that is in it from his errors, mistakes, and false allegations, and in the end his his seeking assistance from one of the enemies of the people of the sunnah and hadeeth, and the callers to Tawheed who are well known by this, he is none other than Habeebur-Rahman Al-Athamee, the one who hid behind the pseudonym (Arshad As-Salafee) because of his cowardice, and his lack of scholarly and literary courage, he hid behind it in his book: Al-Albaanee, his anamolies, and errors.
So the Muhaddith of this era described it as an act of cowardice, and if the people of cyber tadlees truly believed that that which they were upon was the truth,then they would never hide behind these screen names and as the scholars of hadeeth mentioned about this: ‘Rather his avoiding identifying him is something that places suspicion in the heart.’
Some Valuable Advice To Those Using The Internet and How should the woman behave when it comes to the internet?- Shaykh Ubaid Al-Jabiri
Some Valuable Advice To Those Using The Internet
Shaykh Ubaid Al-Jabiri (hafidhahullaah)
The first question oh Shaykh, May Allah preserve you:
What is your advice to those people who use the internet bearing in mind the evils that have occurred there lately?
The internet as it appears to me, rather I am certain that it is a double bladed sword. It is obligatory upon those who use the internet not to be excessive. As some people spend many hours on there. Maybe staying awake for many nights and the time of fajr passes them by or other than it from the obligatory acts.
They might pray Fajr with the congregation but possibly they miss other things which are an obligation upon them. This is a mistake.
Likewise we advise them not to follow everything that it is spread on the internet, as the majority of time what a person spends on the NET is wasteful.
Or he might find that which contains no benefit.
I advise them to benefit themselves with knowledge of the religion and not to fill their time with that which is spread on the NET except if it is religious knowledge that will give them some understanding of the religion of Allah.
This is my advice, may Allah bless you.
How should the woman behave when it comes to the internet?
We also warn the women against spending too much time sitting on the Net because the woman will come across more articles than the men, especially if she visits the different sites and loves to view what is being spread on each web site, and in reality this is very dangerous for her.
Also if she spreads something (upon the net) then she is exposing herself to be harmed by the sick hearted from amongst the men.
I advise those who have the ability to do so, to rarely use this internet. And if she was to use it, then to visit those trustworthy sites where only the Salafis post. And if she was to post (something) then she should only spread that which can be benefited from, like biographies of some of the noble people of knowledge and Imams or a piece of research relating to a fiqh issue that everyone can benefit from.
As for her taking it upon herself to do that which the men undertake from refutations and replying to various statements then this would expose her to an unpleasant result. It is possible that men with sick hearts might enter using female names, and their intent behind that is to harm the believing women.
I hold that it is better for religion and honor not to enter this (arena). Her noble brothers from the people of knowledge will suffice her, but if she uses the internet then with the guidelines (mentioned earlier).
Source : Posted by HassanAs-Somali (hafidhahullaah) on http://www.salafitalk.net
- Abstaining From Discussions On Internet Forums – Shaykh ‘Abdul-’Azeez al-Bura’ee [Transcript]
- The Communication Between Men and Women Over the Internet
- The Ruling On Putting Personal Pictures In Social Networks [like Facebook, Twitter and etc]
- Some of the Muslims spend too much time on the internet. Sometimes they even delay their prayers because of this. What is your advice to them? – Shaykh Muhammad ‘Umar Baazmool – Bakkah.Net
[Transcript] Abstaining from discussions on internet forums
Shaykh ‘Abdul-’Azeez al-Bura’ee
May Allaah reward you with good, may He bless you and may He be good towards you. The third question says: ”What is the correct way to spread authentic knowledge and abstain from getting involved in fitan (trials, calamities, tribulations) on internet forums? May Allaah bless you.”
Shaykh ‘Abdul-’Azeez al-Bura’ee:
The way — may Allaah bless you — is that the student of knowledge occupies himself with scientific researches. Scientific researches in fiqh, ‘aqeedah and tafseer, yes. He gathers a topic for us and discusses its proofs. He puts forth questions and comes with its answers from the words of the scholars. He brings the problems of the community and comes with its answers from the Words of Allaah, the words of His Messenger — salla Allaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam — and the words of the scholars and the likes. He occupies himself with beneficial researches.
He doesn’t occupy himself with the internet, in such a manner that he keeps reading articles and that he comments on this and on that, disputing with so and so and a discussion with so and so. And he adds a statement and so and so adds a statement, from day to day to day. And he has a discussion going on this website and a discussion on a second, third and fourth website and he always needs to look what they answered on this website and on that website… This is a labyrinth, may Allaah bless you, a labyrinth!! This never ends. This is a labyrinth that never ends! Occupy yourself instead with scientific researches. If you really have to write on the internet: place good articles, yes. Whoever wants knowledge, goes to it. And they have to be short articles, not long and tiresome. They have to be beneficial. Like this, may Allaah bless you. If the topic has several parts, then give each part a name so the reader may yearn for it and so that it doesn’t get too long for him. In this you will find benefit with the permission of Allaah. May Allaah bless you.
The Communication Between Men & Women Over the Internet
Compiled by Abu Ziead al-Athary
Assalamu alaykum wa Rahmatullaahi wa Barakatuhu
The noble Shaykh Ubayd al-Jabari may Allaah protect him- repeats his warning against communication, with mobile phones or over the internet, between men and women while claiming the justification of seeking knowledge or giving Dawa.
In an open question and answer session taking place every Sunday evening in the Paltalk room Salafi Duroos, the noble Shaykh said: Communicating over the telephone is an area and way in which the heart of both the speaker and communicator will become attached to the others!
Here is a transcript of what the Shaykh commented on after an answer to a similar question:
I would like to bring to attention a dangerous issue, which many of the Muslim men and women who they ascribe themselves to knowledge fall into. I have dealt with this issue before but many of the people have refused it and that they have been obstinate and rejected the advice!!
From the news that has reached me of the danger of this issue, a person finds it embarrassing to mention it. And this is the issue, which is individuals speaking over the phone and communicating via mobile phones.
This matter has overcome many men and women with the justification of Dawa but this justification is not valid and it is an excuse which is corrupt. It is not hidden from every Muslim man and woman whose heart has been filled with the awe and reverential fear of Allaah, that al-Khallwaa (being alone with a member of the opposite sex with whom there is no relation) is Haraam. The meaning here is that khallwaa is being alone with strange men and women.
As for the evil effects of this, as have been relayed to me, they are more severe than al-Khallwaa (being alone with a member of the opposite sex with whom there is no relation), since al-Khallwaa in a house or in a car causes the people to look at them, as for communicating over the internet and sending and receiving messages over the phone then this is a hidden Khallwaa, which is only known to the Originator of the heavens and the earth and the noble scribes (Angels).
Indeed many women have complained that what has busied their husbands are these conversations and communication and I will mention some of their evil effects for you:
Firstly: if these communications are taking place in a chat room, for example in Salafi Duroos so I say in the name of those supervising Salafi Duroos this type of chatting is a sin upon you this type of chatting is a sin upon you I do not hold it to be permissible I say this because I supervise Salafi Duroos so I speak with the ruling of a representative.
Secondly: Chatting like this busies one from learning knowledge, since those who isolate themselves by conversing with whatever they want from conversation, then they busy themselves away from what is transmitted by Salafi Duroos and from other knowledge-based lessons and this is obstruction in the path of Allaah.
Thirdly: Communicating over the telephone is an area and way in which the heart of both the speaker and communicator will become attached to the others! And this is I swear by Allaah the path of Fitnah and an entrance for shaytaan. It is not permissible for you, O dear Muslim sister, that you spend your time conversing with strangers with the justification of Dawa. If you have the pressing need to ask a question then ask the people of knowledge to the extent of your need and then turn away.
Further, this communication has in it greetings and gentle speech which is a type of submissive speech which has been prohibited, O Muslim sister. As a result, perhaps you might be a cause of what creeps in between married couples of unrest, quarrels and bad relations between them, the result of which could perhaps be divorce.
I have come to know that in the West and perhaps also in the East, that which is hated has occurred due to this communication and conversing.
This is why I call every Salafi man and woman to leave this terrible action which Shaytaan has opened up to them and beautified in their hearts, using the justification of knowledge and spreading of knowledge and Dawa. It was not from the practice of the Salaf that men and women would meet up to study together, but rather a woman would ask a scholar about what a woman needs in her Deen. Also, if a female scholar was found then she would sit and listen to the men and women who came to her and would speak to the men in the presence of her guardian from behind a screen.
This is what I wanted to bring to (your) attention and Allaah knows I did not intend anything but advice and I hold that this advice to you is an obligation upon us, O dear Muslims. Allaah is The One Who guides to the correct way.
We say JazakAllaahu Khairan O our Shaykh for this fine advice and we ask Allaah -Subhana wa Taala- that He grants us and all our brothers and sisters the ability to follow the advice of the Shaykh, which he always repeats in his gatherings.
We also advise the brothers and sisters that when the lessons begin, whether they are live or recorded, that they should not busy themselves with talking on the side. We and all praise belongs to Allaah sacrifice time, effort and wealth for these lessons, to transmit them to you while you are in your homes or offices, so then it saddens us to know that some people attend with their nicknames only, while they are busy chatting on the side – which has no benefit – and Allaahs aid is sought.
We ask Allaah -Subhana wa Taala – that He grants us awe and reverential fear of Him in secret and in open and that He grants us sincerity in all our actions, Allaah is The Guide to the correct way.
Abu Ziead al-Athary @ salafiduroos