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Children & Parents Conflict or Harmony – Abu Khadeejah

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The following is the post courtesy of Abu Bilal Nahim

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته

Whether you deny the fact or try to explain it away, the reality is you will be placed in a cold, dark and possibly damp place as you see if only you visit the  grave yards.  All those who came before you whether they be from the Prophets and Messengers (with the exception of ‘Eesaa who is still alive and upon returning back to the earth Allah will also take his soul after a period), the Sahabah, the righteous and the sinful, all of us will die!!

Do you for a second believe that there is any place in this world where the Angel of Death will be unable to reach you???  If you hide yourself in the highest fortress with the ultimate in locks that the Angel of Death will not be able to take you??

Don’t forget this fact when you are lying, decieving, cheating and misbehaving and being disobedient to your parents that you have forgotten the fact that ALLAH WILL TAKE YOU!!!  DON’T FORGET THAT FACT!!  When your parents tell you to pray, when your parents ask you to do something and you ignore them and you think of doing something else DON’T FORGET THE FACT THAT ALLAH HAS CONNECTED YOUR WORSHIP, MADE YOUR WORSHIP, PART OF THAT WORSHIP, OBEDIENCE TO YOUR PARENTS AND BEING GOOD TO YOUR PARENTS…!!!

 To listen to the lecture on line or to download it click on the link below.

Children/Parents Conflict or Harmony – Abu Khadeejah Abdul-Waahid

 والسلام عليكم ورحمة الله و بركاته
أبو بلال نعيم بن عبد المجيد

Related Links:

• How we should raise our children prt1 | prt2 – by Abu Tasneem Dawood Adeeb
• Advice for Educating the Muslim Children - By Umm ‘Abdillaah al-Waadi’iyyah, translated and narrated by Aboo ‘Abdullaah Hasan as-Sumaalee
  The first advice from the book entitled ‘Naseehatee lin-Nisaa’ (My Advice to the Women), authored by Umm ‘Abdillaah al-Waadi’iyyah, the daughter of the late Imaam of Yemen, al-‘Allaamah Muqbil Ibn Haadee al-Waadi’ee -rahimahullaah-  An introduction to some of the primary responsibilities of the husband and the wife in an Islaamic marriage, followed by 21 Points on Raising Children with proofs and evidences from the Qur’aan and authentic sunnah on the topic of raising children

Mothering And Fathering
Taalib Abdullah (hafidhahullaah)

I recall when some brothers came to Philly from Delaware and said that they had a da’wah center and wanted to do an event there. The day for the event came so I drove down with my audio equipment to a recreation center that had very good room for seating.

I didn’t really know Sheikh Taalib Abdullah (may Allah preserve him and his family) at the time of this event. And as is the case when you work an event you’re very busy focusing on your job so you are not always listening to the speakers when they are on the Mic. After this talk it was clear to me that Taalib Abdullah was a father and a husband and that he was speaking from experience.

I’ve been trying to keep a relationship to him ever since then. Listen to this talk and you will understand why.

Righteous parents are the keys to a righteous child by the will of Allah. Let’s choose righteousness.

Please remember our Muslim youth. Especially those who are fatherless. Share this lecture with them may Allah bless you and us with mercy and guidance.

By Abu Muhammad @ http://insightaudio.com

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Listen :

Beware of Your Childrens Friends – Umar Quinn

Most people when they think about the rights of their children think that as long as they are providing them with a residence to live in, feeding their children, clothing their children, so-on-and-so-forth, they are fulfiling the rights of their children.

Your children hava right to an Islamic education!

Your children have a right to be taught this religion!

Your children have a right to correct tarbiyyah (nurturing upon Islam)!

Your children have a tremendous right upon YOU!

To learn more about this issue , Download or

Listen :

Post Courtesy: Aboo Bilal Nahim @ KSA_Dawah – Group Home

A Lesson On Bringing Up Muslim Children
And The Devastating Ideas of a Christian Missionary
Al-Allaamah Adullaah Bin Muhammad Bin Humayd (rahimahullaah)

Excerpts:

“The teacher who teachers your child should be an upright example for his pupils. They take him as an example in fulfilling the commands of Allaah and in his manners, just as Uthaybah Bin Abee Sufyaan said to his children’s teacher: ‘Indeed, I have come to you to teach my children; firstly: rectify yourself and adhere to your religion, because their eyes are fixed to your eyes. They will not see you beautifying or doing something, except that they will blindly follow you in (that).’

Read Part: 01 02 03 04 05 06

The Ruling Concerning Performing a Cesarean Section

This issue occurs in one of four situations:

• [1] That the mother is alive and the baby is alive:  In which case it is not permissible to do any surgical operation except under necessity such as when delivery becomes difficult, etc.  This is because it is not permissible to perform operation when there is no need, as the body is a trust that must be cared for by every person.  He must not do anything that threatens it except for a more useful goal, because the operation may harm the child.

• [2] That both mother and child are dead:  Here, it is not permissible to perform the operation for there is no benefit in it.

• [3] That the mother is alive while the child is dead:  Here it is permissible to perform operation to remove it.  Because, obviously – and Allah knows best – it will not be removed except by an operation.

- If there is a fear for the mother with the operation, it is not permissible to perform the operation as the fear of the harm prevents doing what may benefit.
- If the possibility of harm is very low, and the child may continue to remain in her womb, then there is no problem with the operation, because the continued existence of the baby in her womb prevents her from pregnancy.

• [4] That the mother is dead while the baby is alive:  Hanbali scholars have stated that it is forbidden to operate in order to remove the child.  Their reason for this ruling is that is involves mutilation and a transgression upon an honour that is existent for the sake of a life supposed to be existent, except where part of the child has started coming out, in which case it is allowed to operate to bring out the rest.  They said, ‘it is allowed for a midwife to pounce on it so as to force it out’.

Ibnul-Qayyim stated in his book – I’laa, al-Muwaaqqi’een [3/413] – that is was said to Imam Ahmad that Sufyaan was asked concerning a woman who died with a baby moving in her womb, that he said: “I don’t see anything wrong with slitting her stomach to remove it.”  On hearing this, Ahmad said:  ‘Evil indeed is what he said.’  And he continued to repeat that, saying ‘Subhaanallah – glory be to Allah, ‘Evil indeed is what he said.’

I say [the author], the reasoning of our scholars, which is that this involves mutilation, implies that it should be permissible in these days since the operation does not involve any mutilation.

• Based on this, the correct view is that of Sufyaan, which is that it is compulsory (Waajib) to operate if there is a high probability of the baby’s safety,
• Or strongly encouraged (Mustahab), if it is likely that he survives,
• And permissible (Mubaah), where there is a low chance of its survival.

This is so because of many reasons:

One:  Because it is based on that which was forbidden by our scholars, their reason no longer existent as, once the stomach is incised and then stitched back, after removing the baby, there is no mutilation.

Two:  The honour of the living is greater than that of the dead.  So, if we were to assume that incising her stomach involves dishonouring her, then doing that is less than dishonouring the living (baby which is exposed to death).

Three:  The baby is a living and honourable human being exposed to death, and operating to remove it involves saving a human soul from death, which is compulsory, as the benefit can be achieved without any harm.

Four:  That our scholars have permitted operating the case of a child who is half into the world, to remove the rest – based on the reason that his life is known (for sure), whereas before it comes out its life is only imaginary – implies that there shouldn’t be a difference between the two situations, before or after it has started coming out, so long as we are sure of its life.

Five:  The benefit in it outweighs the harm and it is well known that Islam either compels Muslims or encourages them (to do things) whenever their benefit is higher than their harm; For there is no doubt that incising the stomach of a dead, pregnant woman, to save her baby is a benefit that outweighs the harm in it.  Hence, the thing boils down to either being compulsory  or encouraged, or (at worst) permissible, according to the level of hope in saving the life of the child, or otherwise.

[Ibn Uthaymeen, Al Muntaqaa min Faraa’id al-Fawaa’id]

Al Ahkaam wal Fataawaa as Shar’iyyah li Katheerin minal Massailit Tibbiyyah
(Guidelines and Fataawa Related to Sickness and Medical Practice, pgs. 69-71)

Source : http://salafitalk.net/

MATRIMONY AT AN EARLY AGE AND ITS BENEFITS  – by SHAYKH FAWZAN

As for the saying that, getting married at an early age diverts from gaining knowledge and from studying, this is not the case. Rather, the opposite of this is correct because tranquility, peace of mind, and pleasure never cease to be obtained through marriage. These things help the student to reach his goal because, he has peace of mind, and his thoughts are not cluttered due to discomfort and this helps him study.

Now on the other hand abstaining from marriage in reality blocks whatever knowledge he wants to attain, because it is not possible to acquire knowledge in a state of confusion and anxiety. However, if he gets married, his mind is at rest and his soul is at ease. He gets a house to take as a shelter and a wife who relaxes and helps him. These things help him to attain knowledge.

If Allah makes it easy and this marraige becomes a source of comfot to become a relationship, then this is from among the things which make it easy for the student to pursue knowledge. Matrimony does not block the path to knowledge as some believe. For that reason, having children is an enormous blessing in this life and in the next.

Taken from: ISLAAM’S SOLUTION FOR THE PROBLEMS FACING TODAY’S YOUTH, Pgs. 44-48

Internet Source

The Ruling on a Woman’s Slaughter

Question:
Is it permissible for a woman to slaughter an animal? And is it permissible to eat from it?

Answer:

It is permissible for a woman to slaughter an animal, the same as a man, as has been confirmed by the Sunnah from the Messenger of Allaah sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam. It is permissible to eat from the animal she has slaughtered, if she is a Muslim or one of the People of the Scripture and the animal was slaughtered according to the Islamic Law, even if a man was available to do it for her. It is not a condition for the permissibility of her sacrificial animal that there be no man present.

Shaykh `Abdul-`Azeez Bin Baz
Fatawa Islamiyah, Darussalam, vol 6, page 315

Source : http://fatwaislam.com/

Related Links :

• From Tafseer ibn Katheer – Surah Al-Hajj
  • The Goal of the Udhiyyah according to Allah is the Sincerity and Taqwa of His Servant
    It is neither their meat nor their blood that reaches Allah, but it is Taqwa from you that reaches Him
  • Explanation of the Udhiyyah and the Sha`a’ir of Allah
  • Rites of Sacrifice have been prescribed for every Nation in the World
  • The Command to slaughter the Budn (Sacrificial Camel)
• [Blog] The Conditions of a Sacrificial Offering – Imaam Muhammad bin Saalih Al-’Uthaimeen
  Talkhees Ahkaam-ul-Udhiyah wadh-Dhakaat (pg. 12-16) , Al-Ibaanah.com
• [Blog] The Etiquettes of Slaughtering – Imaam Muhammad bin Saalih Al-’Uthaimeen
  Talkhees Ahkaam-ul-Udhiyah wadh-Dhakaat , Al-Ibaanah.com

Question : All praise be to Allah and may blessings and peace be upon the Messenger , his family and companions. To commence : The Permanent Committee for Islaamic Research and deliverance of legal rulings has looked into the question posed by the Executive secretary of the Punjabi assembly for the welfare of children to his Eminence, the President of the administration of the Islamic research, deliverance of rulings, propagation and guidance committee. The question was then referred to the General secretariat for the board of Great scholars numbered :2/86 dates 15/1/1392 Hijriy. The questioner seeks information pertaining to the rules and principles concerning the rights of an adopted child regarding inheritance.

Answer :

1. Adoption was known in the days of ignorance before the message of our Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhe was salaam. The adopted son would be ascribed to his foster father, inherit from him, allowed to be in seclusion with his wife and daughters and his foster fathers wife would be forbidden to him in marriage. On the whole the status of an adopted son was that of a begotten one in all affairs. The Prophet sallallahu alayhe was salaam adopted Zayd Ibn Haarith Ibn Sharaaheel al-Kilaby before the message of Islaam, and he used to be called Zayd Ibn Muhammad. This form of pre-Islaamic adoption continued until the third or fifth year after the migration to Madeenah(Hijraah).

2. Then Allah ordered to ascribe adopted children to their fathers from those whose loins they originated, if they are known. If their original fathers are unknown they are considered brothers in the religion and as freed slaves to those who adopted them. He, glory be to Him forbade that a child should be ascribed to it’s foster in descent and forbade the child from attributing itself to other than it’s real father, except by a slip of the tongue in error , for there is no blame in that. He, glory be to Him, verified that this ruling is pure justice due to it entailing truth in speech, preservation of lineage, honour, and the reservation of financial rights to those who are more deserving. The Most High said :

“….nor has He made your adopted sons your real sons. That is but your saying with your mouths. But Allâh says the truth, and He guides to the (Right) Way.Call them (adopted sons) by (the names of) their fathers, that is more just with Allâh. But if you know not their father’s (names, call them) your brothers in faith and Mawâlîkum (your freed slaves). And there is no sin on you if you make a mistake therein, except in regard to what your hearts deliberately intend. And Allâh is Ever Oft¬Forgiving, Most Merciful.” (Al-Ahzab 33:4,5)

Furthermore the Prophet sallallahu alayhe was salaam said :

” Whoever attributes himself to other than his father or ascribes to other than his manumator(the person who frees a slave), then the continuous curse of Allah is upon him”. [Narrated by Abu Daawood.]

3. At His termination of adoption, glory be to Him, ( that is the false acclaiming of son-ship), He terminated those rules that were linked with it in the pre-Islaamic period that had continued into the early stage of Islaam.

a) He terminated inheritance between the adopted and the foster guardian by means of this false son-ship. He made it that each one should be charitable to the other in their lifetimes, and that a deserved share be bequeathed to the other from the deceased that does not exceed a third of his wealth. The Sharee’ah has clarified the laws of inheritance and the deserving heirs in detail without a mention of the adopted or his guardian amongst them. He, the most High, has also mentioned in general those who are to inherit of distant relatives out of kindeness to kin. The Most High said :

“…..And blood relations among each other have closer personal ties in the Decree of Allâh (regarding inheritance) than (the brotherhood of) the believers and the Muhajirûn (emigrants from Makkah, etc.), except that you do kindness to those brothers (when the Prophet Sallallahu alayhe was salaam joined them in brotherhood ties)….”(Al-Ahzab 33:6)

b) Allah has permitted the adopted son to marry the wife of his guardian after his term with her ends and this was forbidden in the pre-Islaamic period. He started with His Messenger in this to be the stronger in its legislation and tougher in terminating the custom of the people of the pre-Islaamic period in forbiddeing this. The Most High said :

“…..So when Zaid had accomplished his desire from her (i.e. divorced her), We gave her to you in marriage, so that (in future) there may be no difficulty to the believers in respect of (the marriage of) the wives of their adopted sons when the latter have no desire to keep them (i.e. they have divorced them). And Allâh’s Command must be fulfilled. (Al-Ahzab 33:37)
So the Prophet sallallahu alayhe was salaam married Zaynab Bint Jahsh by the command of Allah after Zayd Ibn Haarithah had divorced her.

4. From the preceding , it is clear that the termination of adoption is not the termination of human emotions and Islamic rights such as brotherhood, love, keeping ties, and good treatment, and all that it linked with prestigious morals. It is recommended to do good deeds, as follows:

a) A person is allowed to call he who is younger than him with the words ” O my son…” in treating him with kindeness , gentleness and making him feel loved, so that he may become friendly and listen to his advise or carry out his need. likewise, it is allowed for a person to call who is older than him with the words “…O my father..” out of respect for him and seeking his compassion in order to recieve his kindness , advise and help. Good manners can spread in the society and relationships between its members can strengthen due to this and all can feel a general feeling of brotherhood in faith.

b) The Sharee’ah has encouraged cooperation in doing good and increasing the fear of Allah . It has been recommended for people from all walks of life to love and treat eachother well. The Most High said :
“……Help you one another in Al¬Birr and At¬Taqwa (virtue, righteousness and piety); but do not help one another in sin and transgression. ….. (Al-Ma’idah 5:2)

Also the Prophet sallallahu alayhe was salaam said :
” The similitude of the believers is their love, compassion and kindness between one another is like that of a body, if a limb complains , the rest of the body collapses with fever and restlessness.”[Narrated by Ahmad and Muslim].

He sallallahu alayhe was salaam furthermore said :
” The believers amongst themselves are like a structure, parts of it srengthen others”.[Narrated by Bukhari, Muslim, Tirmidthee and Nasaaee.]

This includes the caring of orphans, the poor, those unable to work and those whose fathers are unknown by tending , raising, and treating them well. So that society may not contain those who are wretched and neglected for they could afflict the Ummah due to their bad upbringing or rebel for having felt the harshness of society and its neglect. It is upon the Islamic governments to establish centres for the disabled , orphans, abandoned children, those who have no families and those who fall under the rulings of these categories. If the treasury of the government does not suffice the needs of such people, assistance can be sought from the affluent of the Ummah, the Prophet sallallahu alayhe was salaam said :

” Any believer who dies and bequeaths wealth, let his heirs whoever they may be inherit from him, if he bequeaths a debt or loss , then let his creditors refer to me, for I am his sponsor”. [Narrated by Bukhari]

May Allah bless and send peace upon the Messenger , his family, and companions.

The Pemanent Committee [Fataawa Islaamiyyah 4/497]
Islamic Fatawa Regarding the Muslim Child
pgs 172-175