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Question:
For the sisters is it okay if they don’t go as much to the masjid or are they encouraged to go to the masaajid? And furthermore i’tikaaf for the sisters – are they required to do this in the masjid and for how long and what are their requirements?

The second part is whether it is better for the sister to pray in the masjid in Taraaweeh or to pray at home. It depends, if you are at your home or house and masha’Allaah you are someone who can concentrate on the Qur’aan without any disturbances, then its better (to pray) in the house. If you say, “Oh, in the house I cannot concentrate, my children make noise and there are lots of things going on and I cannot concentrate” then go to the masjid but with the permission of your husband and if you have no husband then with the permission of the wali, whether it is your father, brother or whoever your wali is. The third thing is when you go to the masjid it must be safe for you to go. You should not go at night if it is unsafe for you to go – you must be safe and you must be in complete hijaab, you must avoid perfume and you should go in tranquillity to the masjid if that is possible. If it is not possible then it is better to stay at home, in all cases the house is better for the woman as in the hadith of Prophet.[5]

The last issue mentioned in the question pertains to i’tikaaf. I’tikaaf is only to be done in the masjid. There is no i’tikaaf in the house, neither for the man nor the woman. However, if someone wants to do i’tikaaf but he is unable to, Allaah will reward him as per his intention because Allaah تعالى deals with (matters of) the heart whilst we deal only with (matters of) the exposed body parts as we cannot know what is in the heart, but Allaah تعالى knows best. If you are willing to go (to the masjid) but you are afraid or scared that something may happen to you, then stay at home and Allaah will reward you, as the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم when he saw ‘Aishah, Hafsah and Zainab start building their tents in the masjid he asked “what is that?”. They said “these are tents of the mothers of the believers.” He said:
آلبر أردن
Do they want complete submission and the Pleasure of Allaah then let them go home. And he stopped the i’tikaaf and they all went back home.[6] So i’tikaaf is in the masjid only but if that is not possible then there is no i’tikaaf, you just stay at home and do your best. Also, as I said before i’tikaaf can even be for part of the time i.e. you can do i’tikaaf for one hour as many scholars say, you just intend to do i’tikaaf meaning you stay in the masjid. You have the intention to stay there, not to meet anyone or to have a rest, but to worship Allaah تعالى. If you do this with that intention then Allaah تعالى will reward you. Wallaahu A’alam.

Answered by: Shaykh Mohammad al-Malki

Listen to Lecture: Click Here

Read the Transcribed Lecture: Click Here

[5] Reported in Sunan Abi-Daawūd 1/155, Kitaab as-Salaah (#567). Shaykh al-Albaani رحمه الله says Saheeh in Saheeh al-Jaami` (#7458).

[6] Reported with the following wording in Saheeh al-Bukhaari, Kitaab al-I`tikaaf (#1940).

أن رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم ذكر أن يعتكف العشر الأواخر من رمضان، فاستأذنته عائشة فأذن لها، وسألت حفصة عائشة أن تستأذن لها ففعلت، فلما رأت ذلك زينب بنت جحش أمرت ببناء فبني لها، قالت: وكان رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم إذا صلى انصرف إلى بنائه، فبصر بالأبنية، فقال: (ما هذا). قالوا: بناء عائشة وحفصة وزينب، فقال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم: (آلبر أردن بهذا؟ ما أنا بمعتكف). فرجع، فلما أفطر اعتكف عشرا من شوال

Asalaamu alaykum wa rahmutallaahi wa barakatuh,

SubhanaAllaah we never realise how much we speak and most of the time it is speaking without any benefit to ourselves or the people.

May Allaah protect us from our own tongues and make our tongues for us rather than against us on Yawmil Qiyamaah, Allaahumma Ameen.

Ash-Sheikh Muhammad Saeed Raslan writes about the manners of the Student of Islamic knowledge. From his book titled "Adab Tullaab Al-I’lm".

- Silence –

As for reducing your level of speech, the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him say what is good or remain silent."1

an-Nawawi said:
"This means that if one wants to say something, he should decide whether what he wants to say is definitely good and praiseworthy, obligatory or encouraged. If so, he should say it. If he doesnýt see that it is good and praiseworthy, he should not say it, whether it is forbidden, disliked, or permissible ý they are all the same. In this case, speech which is normally allowed should be avoided out of fear that it can lead to forbidden or disliked speech, and this happens a lot. Based on this hadith, al-Imam ash-Shafiýi (may Allah be Pleased with him) said that if you wish to say something, let him think. If you conclude that there is no harm, speak. If you conclude that your words will bring about harm, do not speak."2

Ibn Hajar (may Allah have Mercy on him) said:
"And this is from his (peace be upon him) ability to combine many meanings on few words, as every statement is good, bad, or leaning to one of the two. Included under good speech is everything obligatory or encouraged, and he allowed this speech despite its various types, as well as anything that could lead to it. As for speech that is bad or could lead to what is bad, he commanded us to be quiet if we ever wanted to indulge in it."3

Ibn Abd al-Barr (may Allah have Mercy on him) said:
"From the tests that the scholar is put through is that he likes to talk more than he likes to listen." Yazid bin Abi Habib said: "Listening is safe and increases oneýs knowledge, and the listener is the partner of the speaker. Talking consists of confusion and deception, excess and deficiency. The one who talks awaits fitnah, and the one who listens awaits mercy."

And Abu adh-Dhiyal said: "Learn to be quiet just as you learn to talk, because if talking guides you, being quiet protects you. By being quiet, you attain two characteristics: you are able to take knowledge from those more knowledgeable than you, and you are able to repel the ignorance of those more ignorant than you."

Speaking about good things is a prize and is better than silence, because the best thing that silence has to offer is safety, and by speaking what is good, you actually gain something extra. It was said: "Whoever speaks what is good wins, and whoever remains silent is saved, and speaking about knowledge-related matters is from the best of actions, and it is of the same level as dhikr and recitation of the Qurýan if it is done to repel ignorance, attain the Pleasure of Allah, and discover the reality of its meanings."4

Abu Hatim said: "Two men went to seek knowledge. When they became learned, one of them became known as a speaker, and the other came to be known as quiet. So, the speaker wrote to the quiet one:

I never sought to gain anything in life * With something better than my tongue…
So, the quiet one wrote back:

And I never sought to gain anything in life * With something that deserved to be imprisoned more than the tongueý"5

And a man came to Salman (may Allah be Pleased with him), saying: "O Aba ýAbdillah! Advise me!"

So, he said: "Do not speak."

The man replied: "It’s impossible for one who lives amongst the people not to speak."

He said: "Then if you speak, say what is correct, or be quiet."

The man said: "Tell me more."

Salman said: "Do not become angry."

The man said: "You tell me not to become angry, and I am sometimes overcome and unable to control myself."

He said: "Then if you become angry, at least control your tongue and hands."
The man said: "Tell me more."

Salman said: "Do not mix with the people."

The man said: "One who lives with the people must mix with them!"

He said: "Then if you mix with them, speak the truth and fulfill your promises."6

And Abu Hayan at-Taymi said: "It was said that the man should pay more attention to his tongue than to where he places his feet,"7 and this is because of the danger the tongue and excess talking pose to the believerýs heart. The traps of the tongue are many and deadly, and just one of these traps is enough to make one spend their entire life trying to avoid. However, Allah tests His Creation in order to make clear the righteous from the evil.

1 Reported by Ahmad (2/267, 433, and 463), al-Bukhari (6018, 6136, and 6475), Muslim (47), Abu Dawud (5154), at-Tirmidhi (2500), and Ibn Hibban (506 & 516)

2 ‘Sharh Sahih Muslim’ (2/18)

3 ‘Fath al-Bari’ (1/461)

4 ‘Jami’ Bayan al-’Ilm wa Fadlih’ (1/182)

5 ‘Lubab al-Adab’ (p. 274)

6 ‘Kitab as-Samt wa Adab al-Lisan’ (p. 558)

7 ‘Kitab as-Samt wa Adab al-Lisan’ (p. 206)

SOURCE – http://salafitalk.net/st/viewmessages.cfm?Forum=14&Topic=9357

By Ibn al-Jawzi

From Ibn al-Jawzi’s ‘Bustan al-Wa’idhin wa Riyad as-Sami’in’ (p. 213-214):

Translated by Abu Sabaya

“The month of Ramadan to the other months is like Yusuf to his brothers. So, just like Yusuf was the most beloved son to Ya’qub, Ramadan is likewise the most beloved month to Allah.

A nice point for the nation of Muhammad (Sallalaahu Alahi wa Sallam) to ponder over is that if Yusuf had the mercy and compassion to say {“There is no reproach for you today…”} [Yusuf; 92], Ramadan is likewise the month of mercy, blessing, goodness, salvation from the Fire, and Forgiveness from the King that exceeds that of all the other months and what can be gained from their days and nights.

Another nice point to think about is that Yusuf’s brothers came to rely on him to fix their mistakes after all those they had made. So, he met them with kindness and helped them out, and he fed them while they were hungry and allowed them to return, and he told his servants: “Carry their belongings with you so that they don’t lose them.” So, one person filled the gaps of eleven others, and the month of Ramadan is likewise one month that fills the gaps of our actions over the other eleven months. Imagine the gaps and shortcoming and deficiency we have in obeying Allah!

We hope that in Ramadan, we are able to make up for our shortcomings in the other months, to rectify our mistakes, and to cap it off with happiness and firmness on the Rope of the Forgiving King.

Another point is that Ya’qub had eleven sons who were living with him and whose actions he would see at all times, and his eyesight did not return because of any of their clothing. Instead, it returned due to Yusuf’s shirt. His eyesight came back strong, and he himself became strong after he was weak, and seeing after he was blind. Likewise, if the sinner smells the scents of Ramadan, sits with those who remind him of Allah, recites the Qur’an, befriends on the condition of Islam and faith, and avoids backbiting and vain talk, he will (by Allah’s Will) become forgiven after he was a sinner, he will become close after he was far, he will be able to see with his heart after it was blind, his presence will be met with happiness after it was met with repulsion, he will be met with mercy after he was met with disdain, he will be provided for without limit or effort on his part, he will be guided for his entire life, he will have his soul dragged out with ease and smoothness when he dies, he will be blessed with Forgiveness when he meets Allah, and he will be granted the best levels in the Gardens of Paradise.

So, by Allah, take advantage of this greatness during these few days and you will soon see abundant blessing, high levels of reward, and a very long period of rest and relaxation by the Will of Allah.

By Allah, this is the true relaxation…”

Al-Rubay’ bint Mu’awwidh – Allah be pleased with her – said while describing how the Prophet – Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him – told them to fast ‘Âshûrâ:

We used to make toys out of dyed wool for the children and keep them with us so if the children asked us for food we would give them the toys to distract them until they completed their fast.

Sahîh Muslim. A similar narration is also in Sahîh Al-Bukhârî.

Al-Nawawî states in his commentary on Sahîh Muslim:

In this narration we are shown that children should be trained to do acts of obedience and made used to doing worship; although they are not legally bound.

Source: http://www.sayingsofthesalaf.net/index.php/training-children-for-worship/

Question:

Oh Shaykh, You find from the women those who make their child fast and the child is only two years of age. They use as a proof for this, that the Salaf used to make the young children fast. What are your comments upon this?

Answer:

That which I am aware of from which the scholars have mentioned, is that the young child should be commanded to fast, if they are able to handle it. I believe that they intend by this the child who has reached the age of discretion (tamyeez) or those above that, those who are (approx.) 8 or 9 years of age because they are said to be able to handle it. The child is commanded with acts of worship when he reaches the age of discretion. This is as training and to get him accustomed to it so he may know the acts of worship like the prayer and fasting.

As for the woman making the child fast and they are two years of age then this is a mistake. I don’t know any example of this from the actions of the Salaf. I hope that you convey my Salaams to them. And I advise them to fear Allah as it pertains to their children. For, verily the child who is two will suffer harm from fasting and he has no intellect to allow him to be commanded. That which is reported upon the Salaf is that the child should be commanded, and the like of him, (the two year old) will not be able to comprehend a command or prohibition. Those women making their children (the like of this age) fast are committing a monstrous mistake.

I fear that if the baby was to die, due to the mother making him fast, she caused this and no doubt she is a sinner. I hold that she caused this and she has to pay blood money and “Kafarah” expiation.

Shaykh Ubaid Al-Jabiri

Source:http://www.salafitalk.net/st/viewmessages.cfm?Forum=6&Topic=4113

Subhaanal-Malikil-Qudoosi [Recite three times in Arabic, and raise and extend the voice on the third time and say...]

Rabbil-malaa`ikati warroohi

Subhaanal-Malikil-Qudoosi means free from any imperfections is the King, the Holy.
Rabbil-malaa`ikati warroohi means Lord of the angels and the Spirit.

An-Nasaai 3/244, Ad-Daraqutni and others. The final addition is from Ad-Daraqutni’s version 2/31 and its chain of narration is authentic.

Source: Fortress of the Muslims, p. 109

assalamu alaikum wa rahmatuAllah

from abu zeiad, Khalid Bagais www.miraath.net. Posted on salafitalk.

This is The Translation of what shaikh said about how the advice ( Nasiha ) must be among the salafiyoon May Allah Reward shaikh Dr. Mohamed Al Aqeel from Islamic Unv. in Madinah

Question:
Our Shaikh -may Allah preserve you, I hope you can explain the legislated way of correctly giving Naseehah (sincere advice). Especially if the advised person is a fellow Salafi who has made a few mistakes?

Answer:
Naseehah (sincere advice) -may Allah protect you- has a very lofty status in Islam. The Prophet -Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam- said, "This religion is Naseehah", thrice. We said to him, "For whom O Messenger of Allah?", he said, "For Allah, for His Book, for His Prophets and for all Muslim leaders and common folk." So giving Naseehah to our brothers entails enjoining virtue upon them, forbidding them from evil and calling them to all good things.

The Prophet -Sallallaahu alaihi wa sallam- says, "… and that you deal with people as you would like them to deal with you." This principle -may Allah preserve you-, that you deal with people how you’d like to be dealt with:
- How would you like people to give you Naseehah?
- Would you like them to advise you with force?
- With foul language? With violence? Or with kindness?
As Allah says, "Repel evil with that which is better. Then verily, he between whom and you there was enmity, will become as though he was a close friend." (Fussilat 41:34)

There’s no doubt – may Allah preserve you- that we’re flawed in many issues. We have major flaws in our interaction with our fathers and mothers. Wallahi (by Allah), some parents complain about their children, saying, "If only he hadn’t started practicing! When he wasn’t practicing, he was more obedient to us than he is now!"This, by Allah, is what we’ve heard from some fathers and mothers.

As well as our dealings with our siblings! Our dealings with our neighbors! Our dealings with our wives! Our dealings with our husbands! To the point that one of them said, "Don’t marry a righteous (practicing) woman! You know, my wife has caused me so much stress!"

Na`udhu billah (We seek refuge in Allah)!
Na`udhu billah (We seek refuge in Allah)!

He goes against the statement of the Prophet, "…so marry a righteous woman, you will be successful." Because she started practicing without knowing the right way. She didn’t learn how to give Da`wah to her husband.

Similarly, many husbands… may Allah keep us safe. They seem like they want to drive people away from men that practice their Religion. Even though a religious man -in reality- will either love his wife, or he’ll abstain from oppressing her, because he fears Allah -the Most High. But we’re flawed.

Another example, is our practice of advising and dealing with one another. We have a little harshness, and we seem to blow mistakes out of proportion.

This is why we need to return to the guidance of the Prophet -Salallaahu alaihi wa sallam. How did he deal with the Jews? Like the Jewish man that came to the Prophet -Salallaahu alaihi wa sallam- and greeted hm by saying, "As-saamu `alaik (Death be upon you), O Muhammad." This Jewish man was a criminal, here in Madinah! "Death be upon you, O Muhammad"! So the Prophet replied, "and upon you."
May my parents be sacrificed for him -Sallallaahu alaihi wa sallam.
What etiquette! Our bodies would waste away and we’d be unable to conjure up one tenth of his etiquette -Sallallaahu alaihi wa sallam.

He said, "and upon you." Our mother, `Aishah -radhiallaahu `anha- said, "Upon you be death and Allah’s Curse!" Upon you be… what? Death, and Allah’s Curse! So he said to her, "Calm down, O `Aishah." She said to him, "Didn’t you hear what he said!?" So he responded, "And you, didn’t you hear what I said? I said, ‘and upon you’… Allah answers my supplication upon him, and he doesn’t answer his supplication upon me. Now, I say, May death and Allah’s curse be upon him." Because the Prophet supplicated against him, and then said to her, "Compassion isn’t introduced to anything except it beautifies it, and it isn’t removed from anything except it deforms it."

Our Religion is a religion of Compassion (Rifq) -may Allah preserve you. Be compassionate towards your brothers, be patient with them. bring their hearts together and give gifts. The Prophet -Sallallaahu alaihi wa sallam- used to give hundreds of camels as gifts. He once gave a Bedouin a whole flock of sheep. -Sallallaahu alaihi wa sallam.

As for matters of Creed -may Allah preserve you:
Here in Madinah, the was a brother from outside the Kingdom, and I was advising him on some matters of Tawheed (monotheism). So he said to me, "Slow down, slow down. I’m sixty years-old now, and for the last fifty years, all I can recall is my mother taking me to the grave (of a perceived Saint) and kissing the steps of the Shrine. Do you expect me to leave this creed of mine -of fifty years- with a couple of statements!? Slow down, one thing at a time…"

Truly, he was right! For thirteen years, the Prophet -Sallallaahu alaihi wa sallam- tried to get them (the Quraish tribe) to leave al-Laat and al-`Uzza (major dieties of pre-Islam Quraish). It wasn’t a simple matter of a few days before Allah’s punishment befell them. When the Prophet -Sallallaahu alaihi wa sallam- was expelled and the Angel of the mountains said to him, "If you wish, I’ll crush them between the two mountains", the Prophet -Sallallaahu alaihi wa sallam- said, "No, I’ll give them time. perhaps some of their progeny might worship Allah." Yet those people were disbelievers! He was patient with them.

So what about your Salafi brother who’s made some mistakes? Be patient with him, and kiss him on his head (an Arabian show of compassion and goodwill) and tell him, "My brother, by Allah, I love you (for His sake)." For example, "O Mu`adh, my brother, I love you (for Allah’s sake)"Am I not right?

"O my brother, I love you."

You don’t come to them and say, "You all and your Shaikh (scholar/teacher) don’t understand anything", and, "you all are stubborn", and "you all (this and that)…" Obviously, they’ll say, "You don’t understand anything, neither you, nor your Shaikh."

So pay attention to your brothers -may Allah preserve you- and be patient with them. This period in time is that of Ghurbah (strangeness/foreignness). We are strangers nowadays. So if you see somebody that has the scent of Salafiyyah… Huh? Just a scent… Yes, I said the scent of Salafiyyah, then kiss his head and say, "By Allah, I love you."

source: http://salafitalk.net/st/viewmessages.cfm?Forum=6&Topic=9377

ref: http://www.arabnews.com/?page=1&section=0&article=125774&d=25&m=8&y=2009

JEDDAH: Sheikh Abdul Mohsen Al-Obaikan, adviser to the royal court, has condemned women who bring their children to mosques for the nighttime taraweeh prayers during Ramadan.

Speaking to a local newspaper, Al-Obaikan said children disturb worshippers, run between prayer rows and damage mosque property.

“Children distract people performing prayers … women who can’t pray at mosques unless they take their children with them should pray at home. It’s better for them,” said Al-Obaikan.

He also stressed the responsibility of mothers to respect imams and worshippers by refraining from talking loudly or allowing their children to bother people.

“If a mother lets her children disturb people while praying she is a sinner,” said Al-Obaikan.

Taraweeh is a special evening prayer performed only during Ramadan in which long portions of the Qur’an are recited.

But what makes women leave the comfort of their homes with their children to disturb others at mosques?

Samiah Ahmad, 38-year-old Islamic studies teacher, believes that children must be trained to pray at an early age. “We should be encouraging young boys and girls to go to mosques instead of preventing them. I don’t believe they disturb people, especially since women’s section are separated from men’s sections,” she said.

On the contrary, Fatima Khalid does not approve of children going to mosques. “Why would I want my kids annoying people who are in a state of holiness?” she said. “Some women are stubborn and they’re careless about being considerate to worshippers.” That is why the mosque she attends has two security women at the door directing women with children to a separate section.

Hani Yacqub, imam of Al-Imam Malik mosque in Jeddah, said women are not the only ones to be blamed for disturbing worshippers. “Even some men show up with children under the age of five. They leave them wandering aimlessly, depriving people of peace,” he said.

Imam Hani added that it is recommended for Muslim men and women to offer Taraweeh prayers in the mosque in congregation. “This is as long as everyone shows respect. However, one may also perform the prayers individually at home. These prayers are voluntary, but are strongly recommended and widely practiced,” he added.